I’ll be honest, in my 30s I never thought I would embark on a journey to become a parent on my own. I was quite attached to the traditional notion of building a family with a partner and someone I loved.

As my 40th birthday neared and single, the reality of the limited window to have a family of my own was truly narrowing. It was that pending birth date that clarified my decision and set me on a course I never imagined for myself when I was younger. It’s been the best path I’ve taken so far.

I gave birth to Auden Clara with the help of Sarah Longacre from Blooma and my best friend Stefanie on June 11, 2021. Nearly two years later, I am in awe of our little family unit and the bond we share.

Single parenthood has a ton of positives: I’m the only one making all the decisions for how I parent Auden, from what she eats to how she is disciplined. I didn’t have to negotiate sleep training with a partner and was able to move forward in a way that Auden adapted to her new routine within four days at six months old (lucky us!). I have a ton of time to focus on Auden when I’m with her and she gets my mostly undivided attention when we’re together which involves lots of time exploring outside, playing together, and endless reading, including reading that same book for the tenth time in one sitting!

The challenges are of course finding ways to have a social life and balance personal needs like exercise! On the weekends when I don’t have support, I would love to have someone else take her in the morning so I could get a few more hours of sleep, go to yoga, or run. Instead, I’ve adjusted to going to bed a lot earlier and grabbing the occasional nap when she naps (which works some of the time) and I do my yoga class online when she’s sleeping.

I’m thankful to have invested in an au pair for our family who has provided another form of consistent support and childcare while I work full-time. Now that Auden is nearly two years old, I’m expanding my babysitter network in order to have a few nights a month for a date, time with friends, or a weekend afternoon spent cross-country skiing or riding my bike without Auden in tow – which is fun most of the time, but it’s nice to go at my pre-parenthood pace once in a while!

It’s exhausting when you’re sick and you’re the only one in charge. Thankfully on one occasion when I was so miserable on a weekend, a friend came over with her dog to entertain Auden for a few hours so I could rest. These moments test the single parent, but like all challenges, they pass.

Traveling for work (or pleasure) is also something new I’ve had to navigate. As someone who used to hop on a plane once a month to a fun destination, I’m thankful for all of the experiences and travels I had pre-Auden, and also for an au pair and neighbors who have stepped up when I’ve had work related travel. This August, to celebrate a milestone birthday, I’ve lined up my parents and au pair to care for Auden for an entire week so I can do my first\ fun trip without her! As I watch friends who can leave their child with their partner or grandparents regularly, I am filled with a mix of envy but also the determination to figure out how I too can get meaningful breaks away, even if it means spending more money. That is one of the biggest factors in choosing this path, ensuring I have the financial resources to cover more since I don’t have another person contributing financially.

I am aware of my privilege and choice and feel incredibly lucky to have been able to choose this path. The bumps I’ve encountered so far have been manageable. Like choosing to be a mother to Auden, I choose to fully experience both being a parent and witnessing my daughter become her own fabulous self.